Separation Anxiety Disorder

Many children experience separation anxiety between 18 months and three years of age, when it is normal for a child to feel some anxiety when a parent leaves the room or goes out of sight. Usually he/she can be distracted from these feelings. Crying when first being left at daycare or pre-school is also common, and the crying subsides when the child becomes engaged in his/her surroundings.

Usually four year olds are able to leave their parents. If not, the problem could be Separation Anxiety Disorder, which affects approximately 4% of children. With Separation Anxiety Disorder, a child experiences extreme anxiety when away from home or separated from parents or caregivers. In this case, the desire to be in contact with missed persons is excessive, extreme homesickness and feelings of misery at not being with loved ones are common. While separated, it is not uncommon for these children to have fears regarding the health and safety of their parents.

Children suffering from Separation Anxiety Disorder may:

• Try to avoid going places by themselves;
• Refuse to go to school or camp;
• Be reluctant or refuse to participate in sleepovers;
• Follow a parent around;
• Demand that someone stay with them at bedtime, or "appear" in their parent's bedroom during the night;
• Awake from nightmares about being separated from loved ones.

Onset of Separation Anxiety Disorder can occur any time before age 18, but it is most common in children between the ages of seven and nine.

TIPS FOR PARENTS AND EDUCATORS

• Stay with her until she becomes familiar with a new place or person.
• Tell her calmly you know she doesn't want you to leave. Reassure her you will be back.
• Tell her Mommy or Daddy will be back after naptime or at dinnertime, even if she can't tell time. Be sure to keep your word.
• Let her have her favorite blanket or other "lovey" for comfort. Some children like one of Mom's sweaters or another familiar possession they can keep until you return.
• Avoid leaving your child when she is hungry, tired, or sick.
• Never tease or scold her for her upset feelings.
• Never sneak away without telling her at all.
• Don't bribe her not to cry.
• Introduce yourself to the child and invite the child to play with toys or have a snack.
• Offer to have the parent stay a while, then have them leave and return after only a few minutes.
• Suggest to the parent that he or she try role playing with the child to rehearse separation.
• Teacher could have a ritual for the parent when leaving the child.
• If the child is in absolute panic, ask parent to stay until the child is quieter. 
• Teacher should ask parent to comfort child in a firm, loving voice.
• Teacher should never criticize child for feeling sad or anxious.